


beyond infinity

by lalinearoja



Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalinearoja/pseuds/lalinearoja
Summary: It is 10:35pm and for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to watch the 'My Immortal' fan video of Zurena that shows the bitter truth of how dirty they were done by life.Maybe, just maybe because I thought some people can relate to this. Or maybe because I am trying to understand myself and the way and reason why this fictional couple means so much to me.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	beyond infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Now, this file might be deleted in the morning when I wake up and everything feels like a fever dream, but Twitter's capacity is too short to write this down and Instagram is just not the right platform for this, too many locals would see this.

First things first, I didn't like Zulema when I first saw her on my screen. 

Since I instantly fell in love with Macarena, seeing Zulema be so rude to her for no reason whatsoever just rubbed me the wrong way. Especially after I got to know Macarena's past and for the first time in 20 years I _finally_ found a character that I could relate to. 

Maybe that's why this little rubita has turned into my comfort character over time. She has always been misunderstood and judged when the only thing she ever wanted was to protect the ones she loved and the only thing she got for it was shit. 

But while I was watching vis a vis and understanding more and more of Zulema's story, I realized I judged a book by its cover. 

Of course, there are some things that she has done that aren't to be apologized, Macarena's abortion being the best example. 

But she did grow on me and ended up being my second comfort character. All she ever wanted was freedom. The freedom that made her softer than people ever gave her credit for. Out-of-prison-Zulema was so much softer than some people liked to admit. But that's a whole different story. 

The whole point of this was trying to explain why fictional characters and couples mean so much to us. 

Now, obviously the explanation as of why _characters_ mean so much to us can be quite simple. We can relate to them. And sometimes, we can find our own peace in their story. 

With couples, it is a little harder. Some of us might see the perfect relationship we're seeking for while others get lost in the complexity and story of the on-screen romance. 

At first, I thought it was the latter that applied to me in terms of Zurena. But now, after more than a year of thinking about this ship and experiencing El Oasis, I think it is a little more complex than this. I was and still am head over heels for these two separately. But together? God, what a thunderstorm. 

Ying and yang? Good and bad? Not so much. 

For me, it is the way they both made each other feel so alive. They couldn't live with, nor without the other one. While they continually tried to kill the other, they gave up at one point and came - more or less- to terms with the fact that, as much as they hated it, they needed each other. And after two years of living together, they both finally began to embrace that. 

I believe that the moment Zulema saw Macarena outside of prison, the moment she realized Macarena had come to pick her up, something changed. Macarena didn't want Zulema to feel as alone when she got out herself. Somehow, she had figured out when Zulema would be released and she made sure _to be there._

We don't know what exactly happened afterward, but Zulema had surely given this a lot of thought before showing up at Macarena's workplace.

The journey started from there. They got a caravan, built a heist life together and the longer they lived together, the faster Zulema embraced the fact that there was _something_ that drew her to Macarena. 

Najwa once said in an interview that the moment Zulema saved Macarena's life at the washing machines, Zulema realized she had some kind of feelings for Macarena. 

But the night she finally tried to approach Macarena with a gift and in her own love language, attempted to open her heart to Macarena, she was met with fear and hesitation. 

Macarena hadn't been ready. 

Too much had happened between the two of them. She needed more time. 

So Zulema gave it to her. Despite knowing she didn't have much time left. 

When the symptoms of her tumor got more intense and frequent, she knew there would not be much more time left to tell Macarena how she made her feel. So she used the most basic excuse and asked for a favor that allowed her to talk without looking at Maca. 

And she tried to form the words. Nervously. She couldn't find them, Zulema has never been good with words. She has always been an action kinda girl. 

But it only took one gentle push from Macarena's side to make her open up about how Macarena had given her the closest to a home she ever had. 

In Zuema's words; _I love you._

And that had been the turning point for Macarena. 

If only they had gotten a little more time.

If only. 

Their story is as toxic as it is bittersweet, and somehow these two managed to get into my heart so much that I let ink that's dedicated to them decorate my body as long as I am alive, and beyond. 

Locals will ask and wonder; _why does something fictional affect you so much?_

And I have thought about this for a lot of months. And I've come to a realization.

They're not fiction. 

They are the ugly truth. Zurena is as close to reality as it gets. 

They didn't show us much of their nice moments together, which doesn't mean they didn't exist. But their focus was more on the ugly sides of life, the moments that break us. The discouraging part of life that sometimes seems so hopeless that there is no other way than giving in to the anger, fear and desperation this other person makes you feel. 

Two broken people that can't adapt to the other, not until after 15 years. 

Some things take time. A lot of time. 

But in the end, they made it work. In their own twisted way, they had a love story that is different than anything else I have ever seen and the most accurate thing to life I ever watched. 

Despite everything they had done in their lives, they still had this one person that made them forget about all of this for a while, or accepted and dealt with the other's pain. 

So no. Zurena is not only a fictional couple to me anymore.

They are the embodiment of cruel reality. 

And they have taught me so much more than words could ever express.


End file.
